Monthly Archives: August 2011

Four (4) Thoughts I’ve Had While Watching Misadventures of an Awkward Black Girl

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Picture via Clutch Magazine (clutchmagonline.com)

For the past few months me and most of my friends have been held in rapturous thrall of the “Misadventures of an Awkward Black Girl” webseries, known to stans as ABG. It’s ignorant. It’s funny.  It stars a tall, brown, natural-headed woman. The lead character is not some beweaved hot girl who smacks gum and p-pops on a handstand, but instead a woman who single-handedly revived the Bankhead Bounce. This show is perfection.

For so long intelligent black women have been without a comedic hero. Smart white chicks get Liz Lemon and whatever role Amy Poehler is playing. Hoodrats have Remy Ma and Slews have Superhead. You get the picture. I guess America’s preoccupation our singleness has blinded it to the fact that we can be funny without being fat, sassy, or both. With that said, here are four thoughts I’ve had while watching ABG:

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1.  Someone named “Issa Rae” has apparently been living in my head for the past 26 years and hasn’t bothered to let me know until she put out this show.

Word Issa Rae? You just gon’ write a show, that’s completely reflective of my life, and look just like one of my homegirls from college? And be funny and sh*t? Oh ok. *Folds arms.*

2. White J could get it. Continue reading →

Ratchetry – A Short Story

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Ok, sooooooooooooooo. I’m supposed to be a writer…peep the story below and let me know what you think!

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In the mornings she walked through the marble halls of Delano Smith, with her Italian leather attaché, in her sensibly tailored suits, breezing past the security guards who could have been her uncles, past the executive assistants who reminded her of her mother’s friends. The brass name plate on her office door bore only the name she used professionally. When she heard “Shaun, great job on the annual report,” or “Shaun, let’s grab coffee and discuss leveraging your facilitation skills in our new practice,” it caused her to swell with pride. She was going places. And she made sure to stay on the appropriate trajectory. No sudden movements; everything had to be just right, or as they say in consulting, she had to maintain her ‘synergy.’

Anne, a colleague, poked her curly blonde head into Shaun’s office. Shaun waved her in while she wrapped up a client phone call. “Hey there,” she said. “Are we still on for lunch?”

“You bet! I’m starving. Au Bon Pain ok?” Shaun replied.

Shaun grabbed her trench coat from the rack. They headed out of the building, and talked about the recent earnings statement released by the company; upcoming assessments; the health of their respective pets. Anne was sweet, one of the coolest people at her firm, but Shaun still kept a safe distance. She never revealed too much. It’s what made the relationship work. Like the Yule log on TV during Christmas time, Shaun gave off the semblance of warmth without the expenditure of effort.

At ABP she mulled over her choices at the soup bar: broccoli and cheddar, which was her favorite, but also gave her virulent gas, or tomato basil, which was probably better for her. She decided to go with the broccoli soup and prayed for mercy on her stomach. She heard a familiar voice call her by a name she hadn’t used in years.

“LaShauna? LaShauna! Hey girl!!!” Continue reading →